so frustrated

This morning, our church had a service performed by our 2006 Guatemala team. I have observations that I want to make known, and yet just about everyone in my congregation will not agree with me.

In a nutshell, it was, to me, the pinnacle of American ethno-centrism masked by good intentions. I'm not trying to bash anyone's thoughts, his/her feelings from going, or his/her intentions. But I am trying to say this- short term mission trips are beginning to really annoy me. Comments I heard that annoyed me: "Everyone needs to go," "They need us there," "I didn't want to go back home," "I think we got more from being there than they did"... I've heard that last one too many times. While it may be true, I'm not sure I like it.

First (comment), everyone does not NEED to go. Everyone needs to serve, needs to be involved in helping others and in showing God's love and justice. That does NOT require going to another country, or even another town. Everyone should be involved in God's work, but going to another country isn't the only way to do so. And as a matter of fact, it is the most expensive way to do so! If you're really all about serving, then it shouldn't matter whether it's Guatemala, Cambodia or your neighbor's backyard.

Second (comment)- They do NOT need us there. As a matter of fact, us going as short termers often times makes things more messy than before. They got along without us before we went, they can do so after. Our team built two houses- Guatemalans have built houses before and did not need us to do so. We put shoes on kids who needed them- we could have sent the shoes and national ministers and full-time missionaries could put them on. And they sent the Jesus film- which we could have sent and not just taken. While it's good service, and the projects were very other people centered, they did not NEED our people there to do it. Our people were simply helpers. To say that another country needs us is the most ethno-centric comment one could make. It somehow implies that God is not going to get the word out without you, and it implies that we have the answer they are incapable of finding unless we go. We have abilities they do not have. This is not true. There are lots of people who have the answer (Jesus) who can share it who live there and don't have to spend thousands of dollars each to be there. Beyond that, there is a little boy who is now being supported by one of our couples who went. Now, it may well be expected that people from every missions group will "adopt" through support children there. Dependency is created because we think they need us.

Third (comment)- You must come home. Even if you don't want to. And being in that state of mind will make you hate home. But beyond that, you have only had a one week glorified version of missions. If you were to be there for a month or more and without a full team of friends around you, you would get a better view of what full-time missionaries and missions work is all about. If they all left and you stayed to continue to love the people there, it would be hard. A friend of mine on my second Ukraine trip (she'd been on the first one, too) stayed a few extra days after the trip to visit and hang out with the people in the town that we'd been to on our first trip. She said that after we left, it was tough and it wasn't what she thought it was. One week trips do not give a good view of missions. I have friends on the field who felt called through short term trips and then realized it was not what they expected when they got there full-time. Beyond that, this desire not to leave leads to promises of returning. That's the worst thing you could do because even if you do return, you can't get them that attached to you. it leads to dependency. Do not promise to return, or write, or e-mail or call...

Fourth (comment)- while it may be true that you got a lot, that's not the most important thing. And it's not the most important thing to take away. The motivation needs to be serving and giving, not receiving. After you return, if you're only focused on what you've received, it makes you want to go again and soon because you want the experience again. If you only focus on how you felt for it, you may have that as a motivation from then on. And it leads to people saying stuff like "Everyone needs to go"- because I had such a great experience, others would get that experience too. But when push comes to shove, next year when the trip comes up, people who have gone will not willingly give up their spot so someone else can go, even if they said that everyone should go. just doesn't happen.

other thoughts from the service... Not trying to say it was a waste of money, but if $26,000 was raised for the trip, could it have not been spent better if $26,000 were sent to national ministers and missionaries to spend- paying for workers on the houses and people to do what our team had done? They likely could have built more than 2 houses and done a LOT more. Especially because they can live on less there. But the travel costs would not have to be paid. And God's work still would have gotten done.

more other thoughts- Some parents are talking about their 9-year-old or younger children going next year. I think that they don't have a good understanding of the right motivation. I have seen it before and it has never worked out well to have young children on mission trips. The child is not as able to help with the physical work and the VBS stuff, they are ministered to, not ministers. The parent is also made almost useless because he/she is always concerned about and watching after the child(ren). If you really see missions as about serving the people you're going to, then leave the children home. If you want your children to go, you can't honestly think they have the ability to make the cost of getting them there worth having them there. It's gotta be about my child having the experience. If it costs 1000 for travel for each person, then it's a waste of not only $1,000, but actually $2,000 because the parent's impact is lessened. Also, one woman in our church is going to Africa with a big team for the ONLY purpose of taking video equipment to that country! Why do they need a team? I don't know- but most people won't actually be doing anything while there. And If I were asked to go, I would ask why do I need to go?

another thought: We're going back next year. To the same country. While I know there is a lot of work to be done there, there are other countries. And I also agree that it is good to make a difference in one place because it can feel like too little if going to many places. But I don' t think that's the thought behind it. And I don't think that's a good enough reason to get everyone to think about only one other country. It's great to get others thinking outside of their own country, but it needs to be world minded, not just America and Guatemala minded. I saw the same thing at New Hope with Bolivia. There are other countries, and God is at work in all of them. It would not be bad to go to another country, or better yet, do lots of service projects around here instead.

Another thought (not missions related): the music was sub-par. The guitar/leader was very folky sounding. And they practiced last week for a sound check, then changed the whole thing. Added two more singers and sang with mics in stands instead of holding them (which meant the voices didn't get picked up because the singers were so far away). As the sound guy, it was not a good way to start for me. And the music hurt me... It was... hurtful to me. I couldn't really handle it... If I came for this service, I wouldn't have been back. I'm not trying to say I'm all that, because I'm not, but I think that the music I do is more reaching of younger people.

Another thought: I feel like we've got our people bringing American Christianity instead of the seed of the gospel there. Kind of a side effect I'm sure of our pastor seeming to try and bring "Alabaman" Christianity to Oregon. The team did a "Spanish" worship song this morning that was nothing more than an American worship song (now relegated to a kid's song, to boot) that has Spanish words instead of English (and only 3 words that needed translation at that). yet they believed it was a Spanish worship song. *Buzzer* Wrong! It's American worship songs converted. Songs that they wrote and they sing are Spanish worship songs. Not ours converted...

Both Rachel and I had a hard time with the service. We actually have wondered if we're really supposed to be here because of this and some other things (particularly how the church is more elderly people than we thought and while the pastor loves young couples and families, I don't see him actually drawing them in- his preaching style is very mellow and almost emotionless sometimes- hand motions that distract and don't add anything, and mostly, modern preaching that often times is not challenging). All things equal, this service did not help us feel more like we belong. It gave me another "we disagree with this pastor on yet another issue." (do not take this the wrong way- I still feel like we're ok here. I'm not considering moving, and I'm not considering another church. I'm not thinking I don't belong. I'm just venting... It's frustrating to feel like opposite sides on a lot of issues with the senior pastor. We're ok, though. For now- but pray for us)

Final thoughts- I don't feel I can support the trip next year. In fact, I'm not sure I'll go on another mission trip again. If I feel like doing something internationally, I will send my money where they can use it all, not only part of it because I had to spend money to go. If a person cannot do service locally, they do not need to go. The Great Commission is to make disciples, not to go on short term mission trips. And making disciples can be done more cost-efficiently and often times effectively (because nationals understand the culture better) without short term trips. I think people need to think of others, but the glamour of going outside the country can be... enticing and give wrong ideas.

I don't really know how to end this, but.. I'll just call it quits.

Grammar Freak

Ok, so I will admit this to you all freely. I am a grammar freak! There's no way around it. I try my best to use proper grammar whether I am on myspace, an IM program, typing e-mails or any other thing that grammar may be used for.

When I was in college, there was this sign posted all over our floor proclaiming that "There is no grammar" and of course, we would make fun of it and try to use improper grammar to say the same thing (aka- there's no grammars, there ARE no grammar, etc...) It was funny. But when I was in college, I also learned as much about the English language and proper use of it as I did when I was in high school (although my hat tips to Mr. Waddell- My public speaking teacher in high school my senior year- for beginning me along this journey).

So why do I share this? Simple- I find myself frequenting forums through myspace and other venues. I talk to people online. And while I have grown so much in my grammar freak ways (I used to send spelling mistakes back to people I talked to on IM... *shudder*), I still am very bothered by improper use of our language. And Rachel can attest to that, I will find grammar mistakes wherever they may be and mention them.

With that said, I have prepared a simple grammar lesson that everyone should use, and is not complicated. It should have been taught to you in first or second grade, but here we are.

Apostrophes have a purpose and should be used! And used correctly! the word "im" means nothing, although I read it all over the place. Because it is two words (I + am), it should be I'm (although I'm very tolerant of non-capitalized letters- using Microsoft Word has made me lazy and I find msyelf often not capitalizing). An apostrophe should be used ANY time you are combining two words (commonly called a contraction) and MOST times that you make something possessive (although there are a few cases that it is not needed).

There are three spellings for this word- they are "there", "their" and "they're". Following the last paragraph, the one that is underused the most is "They're"- any time you are trying to say "they are" you should use They're (easy way to remember- you drop the letter "a" of "are" and an aposotrophe replaces it. If you can say they are in place of the word, then the apostrophe is required). There is a word that refers to a place. Easily remember it by the fact that "here" also refers to a place and it is found in "there". And the last one is the possessive used for a group. Their. It is their ball.

Another lesson. The word its. This is a little tougher, but more commonly misused. It's because it violates the possessive rule of apostrophes. But you should follow the contraction rule first, anyway. The apostrophe belongs ONLY if you're taking the words "it + is" and combining them. Plain and simple.

There are three spellings for to. "Two", "too" and "to". Easy- "two" is ALWAYS the number. "Too" should only be used as an "also" kind of word. It is in addition (easy to remember- there's an "addition"al "o"). And the last "to" is any other case.

These are the things that bother me the most. Try to use them correctly.

But also, if you would like to try and use the language correctly, here are a few other very common mistakes. The word "they" is ONLY used to refer to multiple people. It annoys me endlessly when someone says "I just talked to them" and was referring to one person. The correct SINGULAR words to use are him, her, he, she, or one. "I just talked to him," or "he is going to help us," or "if someone does something wrong, he/she/one (take your pick) should be punished." it is not "if someone does something wrong, they should be punished." that is BAD- you are mixing singular from the word "someone" and plural from the word "they". It must be either both singular, or both plural.

Finally- an "s" does not belong at the end of all words. It belongs mostly at the end of plural words, or after the apostrophe of most possessive words. The word "anyway" requires NO "S"!!! Please, friends, family, make attempts to not add an extra, unnecessary "s."

Thank you.

What a day!

Yesterday, having decided a couple days earlier to do so, Rachel and I got in the car (the Camry), gased up (a totally expensive affair these days) and drove! We drove to the coast. It's a strange trip- the quickest way to the coast for us is to drive 30 miles north to Grant's Pass, then drive southwest into California and to the coast.

Actually, in all fairness, we decided we were going to try to drive down to the Redwood National forest and see some of the amazing redwood trees. But since that's right near the coast, we decided to go there, too, since I've had this inherent desire to see the Pacific Ocean for a LONG time! And living so close, it's just... gotta be done.

The drive was absolutely beautiful! It was like our drive through northern California (on our move out here) times 10. Mountains, trees, snow-caps, rivers, cliffs- it was... wow. Once you get into California, the road follows the sides of mountains- up some, down some and always around corners. Some corners you barely can see anything, some are 25mph and you'd better do that. And the road follows a river, so it's like- one side of you is mountain, the other is open air and a huge drop down into the river, which is completely lined with rocks on either side. and huge rocks.

The view down from the road at one of the middle/lower points of the road.

The redwood forest, what we saw of it, was absolutely amazing. We didn't get as far as we'd liked to have fo the day, but we still had an amzing day. The redwoods in the norther part of the forest are huge, and we found a place to take a nice hike- although it would be awesome to find bigger trails.


Rachel and I in front of one of the average sized redwood trees... Wow!

The Pacific Ocean in Norther California is what I'd hope it would be and then more! I'm told the Oregon Coast is even better, so I'm totally stoked to do that! When we stopped, it was so freakin' windy!! Can't believe how windy it was, but it made the waves crash on the rocks and... added to the feeling.


picture of me- looking toward the ocean. amazing! words can't describe...

I have sized down a handful of pictures and put them together in some pages, you can check the out by clicking HERE

It was such a great day! The scenery could not be described- God's handiwork displayed all around us! It was so... can't describe it! It reminded me, as I said, of our drive on the way moving here through northern California, but 10 times better! Everything we saw kinda reminded me of things I'd seen, or places I've been, but at the same time, it was like NOTHING I've ever known or experienced! And I mean that- it wasn't the "best" experience, but it was not in the same category as any other.

I encourage you to check out all the pictures- enjoy them, and let me know how you like them! They've been sized down to save website space, but they are good quality. Anyway- enjoy them.

(my apologies if these pictures or the links don't work- my bandwidth transfer/hr is too low- check back later)

strangest thing

Ok, so i was watching tv last night with Rachel- and on one of the local networks, we saw the strangest advertisement i think i've ever seen. It was for a local "magic shop", but the big part of the ad was a sale going on this week. It is the 420 sale... And the majority of the ad focussed on items on sale in their "adults only" section of the magic shop. They showed video and talked about what was back there- it was and advertisement for a BONG sale!! That is mostly what they were selling, except they advertised as "pipes" and stuff like that- pipes, scales, etc.. I have NEVER seen an ad for drug paraphernalia sales before, but we started laughing so freaking hard!! I almost started hicupping due to my laughing... anyway- just a funny story i felt inclined to share.