why are you looking?

Rachel and I went to Borders tonight just to get out- and of course, we both love reading and love books. So it was a natural idea. Anyway, on our way home, we were talking about church searching some, because we were trying to decide where we were going to attend this coming Sunday.

I realized that through two lengthy blogs on this, I still had not covered everything. surprise, surprise- there's probably too much to talk about on this subject. But we were talking about this and I have decided to add it to the discussion.

Why someone would be looking for a new church makes a huge difference on where he/she would choose. If you're looking for a new church for a noble or acceptable reason, then you are looking for a church to plug into still. Usually, I’d advise people to be aware that in a mega-church, there are often times already a number of volunteers as well as a sense of being a nameless face. Unless you know lots of people there, and even then sometimes, it can be very anonymous.

However, in cases like Rachel's and mine- we've been burned by a couple churches now and the reason we're looking for a church is not to be ministers, and not even to spend all the efforts we have serving there. We are in a state of needing to heal, needing to be ministered to (as we have been taken advantage of and burned to the point where we're pretty empty), and needing to not be as involved.

Personally, I’ve taken a liking to smaller churches, and even see a LOT of value and benefit in them- maybe even more than large churches. But for this particular case or need- why we're looking- a larger church is a place to go. The church of 40 we visited will likely not be a good place for us because it is so small. But, then again- everyone is different, and the sense of family that is present in a smaller church may be just what healing people need to have. If we were in Lancaster instead of Shippensburg, we'd be going to a church of 100-125- because we know so many people there, there's no awkward "not knowing anyone" feeling, and those people there genuinely care about us. so... yeah

and if you're looking for a new church because you left your last one for reasons like music, or a personal conflict with one other person there, or because you simply are not able to sit still and can only be in one church for a few months at a time, you need to DEAL with your issues and stay put. At least, until God gives you the release to leave.

anyway. I’m not sure if I have much else- I’m not thinking of too much else just yeti. Keeping on keeping on.

finding a new church home

first, as a supplement to my previous blog and to this one, I offer this link. Please use it to check out the book- view the free preview of "look inside"- then maybe even head down to your local Chrisitian bookstore (you might even find it at Barnes and Noble or Borders) and pick it up. it's a smaller book, and it's thin. But it's so worth reading.

Quick refresher- Rachel and I are looking for a new church. this is the first time that we have looked together for a church in a non-ministerial capacity. So this is not so much a "here's how everyone should find a church." this is the path we're taking and i'm opent to comments or suggestions.

We have visited 2 churches that are relatively close to us. they are both Brethren in Christ denomination- the denomination Rachel grew up in and I'm fairly familiar with due to their connection to Messiah. so as for doctrine, I know that I agree. That's important to know- if the doctrine of the church is not something you agree with or can support, then you don't belong there! Often times, we won't know what that doctrine is, which is why it's important to try and talk to the pastor or one of the pastors, if it's a bigger church. It would not work very well for Rachel and I to be a part of a charismatic church because our faith would not be identified by the charismatic doctrines. (look it up on wikipedia if you don't know charismatic)

We also have decided that it is very difficult to make any decisions on a church based on visiting a single service. we plan to attend each of the churches we've visited at least one more time. There are things that can be out of place during the first visit- case in point- we went to a church on July 8th because the senior pastor is a former assistant of my first senior pastor (who is still a close friend). However, the pastor was out of town on vacation with his family that weekend, so what we got in the service was not a good taste. Some of it may have been normal, but obviously, the preaching was not normal.

Preaching is obviously important. A senior pastor is primarily a teacher, and teaches through the pulpit. We have been at churches in the past where the senior pastor did not challenge us. We would go for weeks without getting any kind of spiritual food in the services because he either a: dumbed it down because he thought the mental capacity of the church was not very high (a likely option, as the teens in the church would often tell us that he talked to them like they were 4 years old); or b: would preach irrelevant things from the pulpit. perhaps he felt it was challenging- which sometimes he would say he was challenged by preparing. but we were not challenged. And this led to us not paying attention during the preaching- because the one purpose of that section of the service- to be challenged, to meet with God and to grow- was not being accomplished. so the preaching, and the preacher- are important.

Now I'm also wrestling with what my place would be in a church. I have served for 3 years as youth pastor, and as worship pastor (and for a while as young adult pastor, too). i've got musical gifts, leadership gifts, a love and knack for teaching, an ability to connect with young people, and a knowledge of current ministry trends, etc. But where do I belong. it would be a shame to not use my musical talents in a church because they already have enough talented musicians- espcially with the churches that are out there that are lacking in that area. But is that where God is calling me to use my gifts right now? perhaps one of these things has been a source of pride for me and i need to sit on the sidelines for a little while until some humility can work its way in.

The bottom line with service is that TRUE service does not say "i'll do A, B or C. But do not ask me to do D, E or F- because i won't." if we are not gifted in an area, we need to trust the church to evaluate it and not ask us to work with kids if we get very frustrated with kids (or something like that). Service is not selective- it is offering our whole selves to Christ and saying "whatever you need- use me." Steven Curtis Chapman wrote an excellent song called "Whatever".

Everyone makes such a huge deal about music these days. But honestly, music may not be the real issue. We're not looking for the most recent music, or the best. One church we visited was quite large, and the music was very good from a quality standpoint. And i'm sure there were a bunch of people there that connected with it. But, i wasn't feeling it as much. maybe the new environment, coupled with the newfound freedome to actually sing harmonies again... Mix that together and make me feeling a little abnormal anyway (again, a good reason to visit a couple times). What music boils down to is that it's the most common way the Church in America does "worship". what is more important that music or styles is the heart behind it- the worship of our lives and of the lives of those around us. that's what's important about music. at least, for us it is.

Community. The early Church was all about this- not simply having "faith", but sharing that faith together and living that faith together. Rachel and I discussed this with some friends of ours a few weeks ago. The guy was saing that church is supposed to be about meeting with God and too many churches only go to meet with one another. I got the impression he'd rather go, worship, hear a message and leave. Those are two extremes- either there for God or for ourselves. The truth is a middle ground- our faith is about God and our worship gatherings should be about Him, but we are not alone! the people that we see, the people we attend church with, the people in our Bible study, the prayer meeting at school- whatever. that's our community. And to try and "do" faith or life without these people is simply ludicrous.

I had a community of friends even before i realized to call it community. Friends at school- we prayed together every morning before school. friends in youth group- we met weekly, but hung out together, shared our faith with friends together and were quite close. I went to a men's prayer group- these men became more than just other Christians- they became mentors to me. Men whom i felt were living examples of Christ to me, but also men whose lives i could model mine after because their faith was an important part of their lives. God's plan for us is not going solo- it's to live our faith in community with others. This is a VERY important part of what we feel God has laid on our hearts for finding a new church home.

and drawing a blank on another thing to put here that we are wrestling with, i will add this little tidbit. We are praying about going on the mission field. Right now, just praying about it- i don't want it to be simply reactionary to being fed up with church ministry in the US now becasue of having been burned by my last two churches. But God has given us both hearts for wholistic missions that are beneficial to the people we're trying to serve and go against some of the traditional, but outdated ideas of missions. However, we're praying about what direction that will mean for us. And that's huge in finding a new church, too- if we're going to prepare to be on the mission field, we want to find a home church that will be able to support us in that. We will plug into the church while we are there and hope for them to invest in us when our time there is up and we go on the field.

anyway- not sure how to end this, so i'll just say... you've just read the articulated version of just a fraction of what we are going through in trying to discern God's will for our church home for this next step in our lives.

What Bothers Me About the Church in America

For the last two Sunday mornings, and for who knows how many Sundays in the future, Rachel and I will be spending time in different churches looking for a church home. I hate this. For a couple reasons. First- it gives us this impression that finding a church is like finding the right pair of shoes. Or the right computer. There are so many options out there, all we need to find is the one that fits us. Consumerism America tells us that if we’re not happy with something, go find something else.

One of the unfortunate side effects of this process by which people find a church after re-locating is the changing of churches without re-locating due to unhappiness of some kind. I am not going to hold this discussion today of what are the good and bad reasons for leaving a church, and when is too much too much.

I’m going to have two main topics to this rambling rant, I believe. The first is the current church hopping/shopping state that we find so prevalent. Joshua Harris wrote a book called “Stop Dating the Church”, a book that I bought and found to be worthwhile reading for any Christian. It is worth reading because too many Christians are not plugged into a home church. They drift around, going from one to another. The youth ministry I worked with while in college would see kids in and out- later to find out that our youth pastors talked with other youth pastors and found the teens drifting from youth ministry to youth ministry.

God’s plan for reaching the world is the Church. Not as an institutional structure, but as a living body focused on reaching the world and discipling the believer. And ultimately, it is for the good of our own souls, argues Harris (and convincingly) that we dedicate ourselves to a single local church. I know it’s hard for so many people because instead of seeing the positive of the potential of a church, we only see the negative. It is important that we move beyond that.

I think the problem comes in looking for a church based on what it offers us. While it is important to plug into a place that you can call home, basing a church decision simply on what we can get is selfishness. Instead of what it offers us, perhaps we should look on what we can offer a church. Our talents, gifts, ideas- even our age or connections with non-believers could be a huge benefit to a church!! Not that we should feel we are saving a church of that it could not survive without us, but the call of the Gospel on our lives should be service!!

Case in point- Rachel and I visited a large church this morning. I have been in both large and small churches and know there are positives and negatives of each. But what I have found myself wondering today as we consider this church is what we may be able to offer to the church.

But ultimately, beyond what we can get or even what we can give- is God’s calling to a church! I know, though- I can hear it now- ‘how do I know if God’s calling me here?’ or even worse, someone using ‘God led me to a different church’ as a excuse when leaving a church for a less than Biblical reason. And of course, no one can argue with it because then we’re not saying that the person is wrong, we’re saying that God is wrong. So, the way we hear God is through this process of evaluating some of these more natural things we can see around us as well as discerning the Holy Spirit speaking to us.

Sometimes, we can misinterpret. Sometimes we can interpret or understand differently than others do. Rachel and I just experienced that with the church in Shippensburg where we felt led, didn’t feel a variation in the calling, yet the board felt it was not destined to be for us to be there. So, we must pull all of these things together and ultimately take a leap of faith. And when we take that leap, when we break our comfort zone, we must be willing to give it time. Just like a marriage must survive fights, disagreements and more, plugging into a church must survive doubts, unhappiness and disputes. If God has led us there, then either He must have changed His mind or led us differently if we are to leave.

I suppose this has become very long. So the second part of what I was going to talk about I will post tomorrow. But to give everyone a preview, it will deal with, for the most part, the practical things of finding a church- and the experience Rachel and I are going through in the middle of this now. Consider this the ideological or the “theological” and tomorrow I will be posting the “practical”. Stay tuned.