Letter to the leaver

Dear leavers,

Thank you very much! I would like to thank each of you for continuing to sustain a terrible epidemic that is sweeping across our country. I like to call it church consumerism. It is a terrible thing that seems all to common in our society and culture, and it is a tragedy that so many are a part of it.

You see, the mega-church is something that many Americans have flocked to. This is terribly unfortunate because it has led to the decline of the smaller church. The smaller church, although some may be old and dying, there are many small churches that are young and attempting to realize a new phase of the Church. The biblical view for Church is NOT a huge, gigantic church that has everything for everyone, rather it is smaller churches with specialized areas, meeting different needs of different people.

By leaving a smaller church and going to a larger one, you are continuing a problematic trend. By leaving a church and going to another continues the same trend. Church consumerism is a problem because it asks this- “what can I get from church?” The real question that God is desiring for His people to ask is “what can I offer a church?” But because we are looking for our needs to be met, we will continue to go from church to church until they are.

And while we are thanking you for continuing this trend, I will also thank you on behalf of your children. Younger children can grow easily attached to people. When they are continually moved from place to place with new children’s workers to connect to, they are going to have more trouble trusting that someone will be there for them. They will continue to lose trust until they have become completely untrusting of people because there has been no one constant in their lives outside of family.

And while I’m thanking you for your children, let me thank you for your teenager as well. Your teenager doesn’t connect well with do, does he? You don’t understand him, you can communicate the way you want to- it’s tough for you. Am I right? Don’t be mad about this- it’s normal for your teenager to become more interested in friends and less interested in family at that stage of life. But when you jump from church to church, their circle of Christian friends is constantly changing, as well as the influence of youth pastors on them. If you have stayed for close to year before moving on, your teenager has connected just barely with youth pastors/leaders and they will be forced to connect with new ones- except they won’t because they were almost trusting last time and then yanked away from that.

And while I’m thinking you on behalf of your teenager, let me thank you on behalf of the smaller churches. Because you cannot stay here long, we are unable to provide consistently in all the ministries we want to offer. We are unable to offer fair compensation to workers, we hire people to do many jobs (which take more than a normal work week). We are unable to provide the best of anything because we are consistently needing people to help more than they should.

And while on that strand, let me thank you on behalf of our ministries. We are unable to find enough people to teach and other things in our ministries- because you are not here and committed enough, and therefore, are contributing to the burnout of our people. They are important to us, and we do not want to overwork them, but we do not have anyone else to help.

The youth ministry thanks you- because we are small, your teenager and his/her friends are important. When you leave with your teenager, his/her friends leave as well, and we are left hobbling, crippled and with less desire for involvement.

Let me thank you on behalf of myself and my wife, as well. As a pastor at a small church, I am asked to do many jobs. And these jobs make for long work weeks for me. I have months where I only have 1 day off in the whole month. I do more than I should, and yet I cannot do less because our church stays small. You have kept us small by leaving, and continued to ask me to work for a lower wage than the 4 jobs that I do. Although I am paid well for a church, if I were to go anywhere else and take 4 jobs as big as mine are, I would be ludicrous to accept my current salary. Not only that, but my time is precious and I barely get enough for my family and for my wife- she’s so glad that you’ve forced me to do so much.

And while we’re at that, let me thank you for the mega-church. You see, I’m sure that the children’s and youth pastors there don’t care about your children as much as our ministry heads do- and as personally. Because they have so many more children and kids to care for. But because you have chosen to go there, they are thankful. You have increased their attendance, and their feeling of self-worth. As people continue to go to mega-churches, they will continue to feel as though they are doing things correctly. After all, even though we are not all about numbers, if we have high numbers, we can’t be doing it wrong, can we? They will never see that the true heart of God is for close, intimate connection on smaller levels and not huge corporate meetings where we feel good, or agree with the sermon, but are not moved to change.

Thank you- you have contributed to one of the worst epidemics the church has ever seen. If it were not for you, this would not be possible. So to all of you who are church shoppers, church hoppers and trading churches, thanks! You are a product of your country, and examples of what make America so “great”.