saying goodbye (part 2)

While i've been thinking about the current transition in my life, i begin to think on other stuff... transitions of other things. What other times in life are we asked to say goodbye to something, and how do we respond. I'm going to go over a few things that i've said goodbye to and reflect on them... Some of them are permanent, some of them are not, but most of them are simply things that i cannot do at this point in my life, but God may well allow for that opportunity later. Here they are:

• The place I grew up:

Although i certainly would not say that i'm never going to Maine again, I can safely say that i've said goodbye to that place for now. It is not a place that Rachel and I are going to be living. Unfortunately, there are not too many opportunities in my line of work there, and most of the churches there are not somewhere that i feel i could be at this stage of the game. Although it has been a few years since i've really lived there, it is time to say goodbye. moving out of the state for college sealed that doom... The hardest part of any goodbye transition, however, remains this-

• Friendships:

there are some timeless friendships in life. the friend whom you've known seemingly forever, and there is nothing that will ever keep you from being friends. That is not the norm, however. There are not many peopel that are going to be in your life, all your life. Sure, the emergence of quick communication like e-mail and IM have allowed us to keep better contact with those whom we'd probably not keep contact with otherwise, but eventually, e-mailing back and forth and IMing die.

And you're left with those few people whom you'll be closely connected to forever. And that's fine... For me, it's time to say goodbye to some of those friendships. Some have been gone for a while, and some i thought would be around forever, but- aparently not. Some are girls who've gotten married, and rather than make their husbands jealous, (or my wife), or make their lives confusing (or mine)- time to say goodbye. Some are friends whom i've been friends with for years, thought we'd be friends forever- thought we'd be in each other's weddings, best men, etc... Well, anyway- there are some more to say goodbye to... I've said goodbye to some friendships over the years- deleting IM names and e-mail addresses, forgetting about people and then only to be reminded of them later... But point being, i guess it's time to say goodbye to some of those, now, too- and some of those are right along with my first goodbye.

• My Band

Although I've not been officially kicked out of Seth's Mom, and I will always be one of the original members, me not getting to maine very often will keep my involvement to a minimum. I'm sure that they're playing at Nomacca this summer- and i'm sure they sound better than they've sounded before... It's funny for me, too, because i've always had that desire to be in a band. I've had the musical talent, and i felt gyped by some of my closer friends in high school when the formed a band and left me out. And i was so mad at them for a while, but, now, being in a band is something that matters very little to me... it's funny, tho, because it's only the band- the guys in the band, i'm not planning on saying goodbye to for a while...

• My childhood experiences

There are a number of places that were influential to me in my younger years, in my teenager years in particular. Namely camps. Nomacca and Riverside. I have not been to either of them for years, and the last time i was there, I felt disconnected in some ways because i did not know as many of the kids... I had been away at college, so i didn't know as many of them, but... I'm not saying i'll never be there again, but these camps are local camps, and so i'll leave those jobs to more consistent people than myself- because many of the same kids come year after year, and many of the counselors and other jobs are filled with people who at least somewhat know the kids...

This is one of the harder things to say goodbye to for me because of how big a place these camps have in my heart. The friendships built there, the fun times, the- everything, from being on staff to being a camper to doing retreats and making fun of canadians (and being friends with a few- and my friend James fell in love with one)... And i love about camp that you can still be young... maybe camp will be in my future again sometime, but for now... guess it's goodbye, huh?

Well, i'm not sure if i'm through or not, but those are a few things i've reflected on having said goodbye to... And now i want to add this- i know a lot of people who do not willingly say goodbye. They want to hang on to something for as long as they can, and kick and scream when it's time to let go. Sometimes it's easy to see when to say goodbye, and sometimes it's not- and that's more often when people don't let go- when they can't see it's time to say goodbye...

at the risk of using something from pop-culture (hehe), i like this take on it. this quote won't be accurate, but think of death and saying goodbye in the same terms... "be careful of attachments. Fear of death for someone close to you will lead you down the wrong path. Death is a part of life. Celebrate with those who pass on (or those you say goodbye to). Grieve them not. Mourn them not."- Yoda. the wisest of the wise. just watch what happens when you try to hang on too long- you end up like anakin, a whiny, sniveling little brat who betrays everyone that is current and good in his life to hang on to something that he must let go of... don't go down the road to the dark side... don't do the darth vader thing...