Cyber Christian Church

I'm thinking of investing some decent money to begin a cyber youth church. Who's with me? We can buy a decent video camera to record worship and sermons, open a paypal account for online giving, and spend a relatively small amount of money on a website with the bandwidth capabilities for us to stream video on sundays. I can lead worship, and preach. We can post the lyrics for the planned songs each week on the website, and link to biblegateway so that people can view the bible verses if they dont' have a bible. We can have an "offering" time each week, if peopel want to do their giving so that it's a "proper" offering, and our annoucements would be almost nill! And even if I'm on vacation, I could pre-record everything and set it to play during the normal sunday morning time.

What do you think? We talk about using technology to further the gospel (not as a substitute, but as an aid). Does this make sense to you?

For some reason, I'm guessing anyone reading this might feel a little uncomfortable calling Cyber Christian Fellowship their home church. For one reason or another, most of us would shy away from this idea. Many because it's not traditional, many because it's a foreign idea, and even the most technological of people might have a hard time, although putting a finger on what the problem is might be tough.

Well, I have a problem with it, too. Tradition? Not so much- tradition is not so high that it is above reproach. The history of the Church has been filled with "bucking" tradition- and protestants are a direct result of one such occurence. Foreign idea? Some of the greatest ideas to be thought- some of the most life-changing teachings have been new, novel and majorly different. Love your enemy and Pray for those who persecute you? That's a foreign idea!

And I'm technological- I honestly believe that with a bit of an investment and a little bit of learning on my part, I can pull this off. But the money is not stopping me.

My problem with this idea comes down to this- Community. See, we can do the Christian thing in the privacy of our own home. It's possible to hear sermon's online, it's possible to "tithe" to places you don't attend, it's possible to get the most recent worship CDs. It IS possible to get everything you get at church some other place besides church. Except for one thing. Community.

You see, there are instructions, specific instructions in the Bible such as "Do not neglect meeting together" or "where two or three are gathered, there I am" that tell us that there is something about gathering with other believers. There's something intricately tied with the idea of Christianity, worhsip and our faith that has to do with gathering. It is not simply enough to have a "personal" relationship with Jesus. We must have a community relationship as well. Our individual, "modernistic" society has herarlded compartmentalization of our lives, it has heralded self-reliance and self-dependence.

But these are not the way of the true Gospel. Lots of "modernism" does not jive with Christianity, but we're unable to see it. This idea of community is the same. Christianity was begun in a pre(post)- Christian culture in which not everyone grew up knowing the gospel and being in church. We are quickly becoming the same type of world, and because there are so many who have not heard, who do not know, and who do not reflect those morals, community is so much more important. It is in communities that we find the strength to stand for our convictions. It is in our communities that we are able to explore our beliefs and have a safe-haven to come to conclusions that are faithful to the scriptures and our experience. It is in community that we can find and accept healthy tensions that normally would make us uneasy. And it is in this community that we can accept and love those who do not know Christ.

I was talking with my sister-in-law the other day about this. I was mentioning how Rachel and I are not looking for a church around here to call our home, and thus are not feeling comfortable going to many different churches. We would be looking for the same feeling of family/community we had before, if we were to look for a new church to call home around here. But because we're not looking, we're not experiencing that community. Even when we did go to church, that community eluded us because our expectation is not to be there a month from now, not to call that home, and not to get too connected so as not to have more relationships to say goodbye to.

The community we had before already provided us with enough heartbreak in saying goodbye to relationships. Our teenagers, my worship team, the young adults and the others whom we connected with. You can know if you've really been a part of that if it tears your heart up to say goodbye- especially when that goodbye is not voluntary.

So, in an effort not to have those relationships that hurt to say goodbye to, who's wants to be a "charter" member of my Cyber Christian Church? any hands?

ugh...

Just a story- for those of you who like stories.

Rachel's parent's are out of town for most of the rest of this weekend- visiting her grandparents' cabin in the Poconos. And the decision to make was to take the dog with them, or leave it home (among other decisions). And the dog stayed home.

Just a little filler for the story- the other day, Rachel's mom took the dog to the vet. The dog doesn't go in the car very well and so the vet gave her some tranquilizers for the dog that would help her to deal with car travel better- hopefully. And the vet said, try one before you actually take her in the car, tho.

So that's just what they did before they left today- fed gave the dog one of the pills. And it was kinda funny, because the dog, after it started to work- basically seemed drunk (rachel and I both joked about how funny it would be if the dog just kinda was standing there, then all of a sudden "ploomp"). The poor dog was probably just high and was like "what's going on here? huh?"...

That's fine, right? No problem with that. But bedtime came, and the dog, who is used to sleeping in rachel's parents' room on the floor, ended up following us upstairs. I've never seen this dog upstairs before, but... Before it came up, we'd come up- and I told rachel I didn't really want the dog up here with us. Rachel said, it's not like we'll have it in our bed, just in the room- it's used to being in a room with people at night... it's confusing to the dog, etc, etc... And although I didn't want it up here, i left the door open in case it wanted to follow us up. Well, when it got up here, the first thing rachel did was offer for it to join us in the bed...

I strongly opposed this, saying if the dog slept in the bed, i was going to sleep in the spare bed in the spare bedroom (currently used as our "living room" of sorts...) But, thankfully, the dog seemed to be not ready to join us on the bed, so we laid down a sheet on a pillow for the dog to sleep on... I was still not happy with this, but dealt with it- because the dog, unaccustomed to the upstairs here, was constantly walking around and her ID tag and such were jingling- which would definitely not let me sleep, if it didn't drive me nuts first... But the dog settled down and all seemed well...

I woke up around 3am and had to use the bathroom. So i started out the door and "squish"... no, I didn't end up in dog poop- just in a pile of dog VOMIT! UGH, gross! I get in the bathroom, wash off my foot, use the toilet, and go back to the bedroom and say "rachel, reason number 1 I didn't want the dog up here- this case" And explained to her the vomit thing... after she kinda got oriented from being woken up, she went downstairs and got the cleaner and paper towels and a bag and came upstairs and cleaned it up... And then she went down with the dog and let her out and... when rachel came back upstairs, she explained to me that the dog had not only pooped in the hallway downstairs (obviously between us coming up at night and the dog coming up), she had also diarrhea'd in the dining room (or the other way around- the big "D" in the hallway and normal poop in the dining room)...

see, I wasn't mean when i said that the dog could stay confused and be awake all night- i didn't want it in our bedroom... I was thinking sensically... i'm not actually mean to the dog, although it seems that rachel and her family think so. Just because the dog annoys me by randomly barking at me for no reason, standing there when i cut up food, or eat food and dances around like i'm going to give it any (because rahchel's dad WILL feed the dog when he's not supposed to- so the dog assumes everyone will... which is rather annoying when you're trying to eat and there's this little yapper dancing around you, your chair, wherever you are)... just because i get annoyed with it- i'm not mean to it...

I know that sedatives often times have sickening effects on humans... probably just as much for a little dog... And so, I hope that rachel's parents' think twice before taking that dog in the car after using that sedative again... and that dog has cost me some major sleepage- i would have went straight back to bed- instead, it's 4:30 am and i'm still awake now... good thing i don't have to go to church early or anything...

review of "Father, Son and Holy Guest Star"

"You can save a lot more souls with easy bake ovens than with THIS two-thousand year-old pill"- Timothy Lovejoy (Simpsons DABF02- season 13, episode 6)

I caught the simpsons this past sunday, and it was one i've already seen. But I LOVE it! not to mention how much i laughed at stuff like the saint who appeared to Father Sean before his conversion and called him a wanker and told him to "repent or sod off". There was also the priest and all the nuns who were ALL Irish for some reason, then the different afterlive's for protestants and catholics- starting with the protestants being all stuffy and the catholic heaven having hispanics cooking, italians and Irish- which ended with Marge wanting to talk to Jesus, who'd gone over to Catholic heaven and they all began riverdancing... I'm seriously thinking Catholic heaven is where I want to go- it's more lively and more fun (although try going to mass- it's so dry...)

I was also impressed with the way the priest dealt with lisa being a buddhist- he laughed and told her that lots of kids have imaginary friends.

Ok, well, on with the real meat of this... which has to do with the quote above. It seems like... Well, let me put it this way. Just because cool people are Christians doesn't mean Christianity is cool. Or just because Christians do "cool" things, that doesn't make Christianity legitimate! Case in point- they were trying to bribe Bart back to being a protestant again- they took him to a Christian teen festival- with an 80s band and paintball. Bart responded with something to the effect of "just because some old band plays the christian festival doesn't make it cool"... and then he sees the paintball and is enthralled...

it's a wonderful sequence. And I have posed for years that there are wonderful things to be learned from popular culture. And I love making connections like this. Luke blogged about this back when he was on blogger, but i don't think the post made it to his new site- but... Just because Mel Gibson is a Christian, does that make it cool? Christians seem to love to herald around their popular people- atheletes, actors, musicians, and more. It's like- we need to make our faith legitimate. Almost like- see, it must be cool cuz the '96 Green Bay Packers all go to bible study and Reggie White is a Christian... Jeff Gordon drives a car, and he's a Christian, too- that means it's great, right?

Christianity doesn't need popular people. Our faith is stronger than that! It doesn't require having cool people... And, oh yeah- just a reminder aobut the Christian past- the early church wasn't "cool" and didn't have celebrities on their side! It was a religion of the outcasts and it was hope for the hopeless... now it's like the country club- some kind of social status or symbol...

what's next, Christian video games? oh, wait... check this...

Things I don't miss

Rachel and I spent last sunday morning worshipping at the church I went to when I was in college. It was enjoyable- the worship was great, and as was almost always the case, I couldn't tell you what Dave preached about, but I thought it was good (for the most part). That was pretty common for me, for the most part. I paid attention, but if you asked me to tell you specifically what was a part of the sermon, i probably couldn't tell you. However, I always found myself relating different parts of the sermon to situations and conversations.

Anyway- I'm writing this as a reflection. You see, my church from when i was in college is a charismatic church. And although they are not as far out as some, they are certainly different than the church i worked at for the past year and a half. And I must say- some of that, i didn't miss. There were things that i have missed that I got while i was there, and a few things that i didn't miss.

Things I missed:

• People- I saw lots of friends there. There were a number of friends I saw, bunch that I talked to, and none of them have I seen recently- so it was good. And it was 2nd service, so there were less people that I normally would have hung out with- 1st service would have been packed with friends.

• Being prayed for- Fred and Pat Dupert came over to us when they saw me and they were happy to see me. They talked with us for a while, and shared with us how their son was in a similar situation to us. They prayed for us and... I miss having friends who would pray with us. I have no idea how many people actually pray for rachel and I, but I know one couple who HAS prayed for us already.

Things I didn't miss:

• Erin Barner yelling out in the service while shaking her head... And then again while she was praying with people afterward- it was... strangely familiar, relatively tame for what i'd experienced there, and still quite strange...

• the extreme keyboard focus of the music- Now, I love good piano, but... I could barely hear anything besides the drums and the keyboard. the bass was the next in the list, then... there was a second keyboard that I couldn't really hear, and wondered what he was playing anyway... A guitar player, who, last time I'd played with him, he wasn't that great, but looked better this time (it's been 2 years or more), but I couldn't hear him to save my life. And all the other insturments, not to mention the 4 background singers who couldn't be heard...

i don't really know what else..

Beach

Last weekend Rachel and I went on our first weekend away since our honeymoon in the middle of January. We went to the beach- Ocean City MD for friday night, and then we stayed at Rehoboth DE on saturday. it was a nice relaxing weekend away made possible because our landlord was able to rent our apartment out earlier than expected. Hallelujah for the little things, but I'm still really bummed about being out of work, and although i'm dedicating a good amount of time looking for a new church, it's a lot of playing the waiting game, which is... tough.

anyway- keep us in your prayers. we're living with Rachel's parents, which is good for our budget.

can you tell we got a little sun on the beach saturday morning?

lessening of posts

due to the recent circumstances of life- particularly losing my job and moving in with my in-laws until i find a new church, i am not on the interent daily at my job through high speed and/or wireless connection. Because of this, my blogging will decrease most likely until a later, unknown date. Although i could still connect through a neighbors wireless connection, i prefer not to do that as much and must do so with the laptop. and though my pc can connect through the phone line, i prefer not to tie up a phone line that is not my own... anyway. anyone who wants, feel free to e-mail me- post a response and i'll give you my e-mail addy... I will be looking at comments left, so... btw- thanks to holly sue for leaving a comment for me- it made my day... (sorta)

blessings
Reid

same ol', same ol'

I was listening to a 'new' album today- it's the worship band of the church that my senior pastor's daughter goes to. It was... well, not impressive! I mean, i'm not sure that our band could put something better out, so i'm not trying to say anythign like that.. (although vicki told me that she likes the sound of our band better) I'm just saying it was unimpressive.

They've got a mix of songs on there- some songs that they wrote (or i've never heard) and a number that I have heard before. Here lies the reason for this blog. I'm tired of bands and worship groups putting out songs again that have already been done. especially if that song has already been done really well! I was listening to a song on the way home from work today and i got frustrated- because it's a butchering of a GREAT song! the way the band did the song did NO justice to the song.

This album was along those same lines. They did "Did You Fell the Mountains Tremble" and although i know some people who've never liked that song, if it was originally done the way this band did, NO ONE would ever have liked the song!!! They also did a version of "I Am Free", a song done originally by desperation. And it was almost no different- they just did a replica of the original. This was the only song that was a duplicate on there that i could stand, really.

They did a version of "Amazing Grace" that sounded more like the singer was drunk while singing. And that is the way Vicki described it to me. I wouldn't have put it that harshly. But it was not so good. And if i hadn't seen the title of it, I would never have known what song "God of Wonders" was.

These are not all the songs, but i do not want to dwell too much on this particular album. See, this is an epidemic in Christian music now. There are bands who are doing everyone else's music. And it really boils down to seemingly every band trying to get their hand in the "worship rock" pot. Bands who have no business doing worship are doing it now- because it's popular, or because... i don't know why. But why are Newsboys doing worship albums? I had a friend tell me after doing a concert at camp, trying to explain to me how it qualified as worship, that there's nothing like listening to the kids worship to the song "Breakfast". But, wait, that song is not even WORSHIP! it talks about there's no breakfast in hell?

Worship is not supposed to be a brand of music, or a fad in music, or... anything like that. Worship is our heart connecting with God's! Worship is our heart giving honor and glory to God, in all we do! Worship is living our life serving God! it's not music, or a style. it's... not at all. So when it comes to using music in worship, it's not about the sound. So i'm not trying to be picky here. But this is not just us worshipping God, when we do an album, we're trying to help others, too. and redoing a song is saying we can do it better! sometimes we can, sometimes we can't.

The big thing? using our creativity to worship God is HUGE! And these bands and groups that just redo someone else's song? just not creative... just like the bands that do the same album over and over again, and just like the movie producers who are doing remakes and unplanned sequels to movies... just like the person who copies... just like.. the uncreative one... God is creative- and He put that in us. Don't squander it, waste it, or forget it!

Flashback Friday

Last friday, Rachel and i went to the drive-in. We're quite glad to have a drive-in close, with the double features, and this year they're playing good movies.

Last weekend and all this week, they've been doing the remake movie night. It was a double feature full of "fun" with "Herbie: Fully Loaded" and then "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I'm glad we went to see the movies at the drive-in. Because we paid less to see both of them than to see one of them in the theater. And I can't imagine paying full price to see either movie. I didn't have a huge desire to see Herbie, anyway, but...

Just a few notes about the movie. First, Lindsey Lohan. What in the world is up with this girl? I have a sneaking suspicion that this girl who used to be cute and do good movies will end up doing movies that I wouldn't ever want to see and will likely be junkie. I mean, this girl is going the way of the anorexic. The girl needs to eat, get her red hair back and realize that people liked her better before.

The movie- well, it was... not impressive. Lindsey Lohan gets Herbie, and come to find out she used to do street racing. Well, her dad used to race, as did her grandfather, and her brother stinks at it. Long story short, she gets her wish to NASCAR race, but in a 63 bug?!?! And not only that, but this bug has the potential to ride the side and go upside down? She wins and gets showered with praise, but... isn't Herbie the car? and doesn't Herbie do the driving? So, technically, she doesn't win and isn't that good...

Then, the wonderful intermission. This was the best partof the night. Cuz i always remember this friend of mine, Anthony, who loved the part in "Grease" when you see the hot dog jump into the bun. That was the greatest part of the night.

The next movie was the snooze-fest. Not only is the original movie still great, but it's not that old. I like some of the songs in that one. The Umpa-Lumpa songs were much easier to follow. The songs in this one were different styles and harder to follow becasue the music was so loud sometimes. Just in general, this movie was not as good- a bit darker. Johnny Depp was... strange at the least. and... yeah.

All in all, a disapointing weekend. Don't bother seeing either of them- unless you want to waste your money, or want to see the last lindsey lohan movie when she was "cute". I wouldn't even feel inclined to rent them, either...

What ever happend to creativity, anyway? It used to be original ideas for movies were done year after year. this summer has been remakes of old movies, or shows (see Bad News Bears, Dukes of Hazzard- which has been recomended that any fan of the show not see it- by the guy who used to play Cooter in the show) and sequels (Batman Returns, Star Wars Episode III). The sequels were pretty good, the remakes- terrible so far!

Come on, people!! forget remakes, forget doing what's already been done... do something NEW!! Even television is getting old on the reality television and such. Great Simpsons episode in which they did a reality television Show. in order to spice it up, someone suggested something he'd seen on Television the night before. When they needed to spice it up again, and they needed "new" ideas, they were instructed to get our their personal televisons! Great commentary!

also note that i use the term television instead of TV. that's cuz tv is a nickname, and nicknames are for friends, and television is nobody's friend. that's it for me...

God's Will

I've been running through some thoughts recently, and these are some things that have been in me for a while. I just was talking with one of 'my' youth last night when we went out for wings and decided that I want to get this out.

A lot of people are looking for God's will. This guy I went for wings with, other kids his age getting ready for college, people in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond... Does this question sound familiar? "what is God's will for my life?" Sounds like a legitimate question, and it seems that we hear that very often. We want to know what God's plans are for our lives, or what God wants us to do with our lives, or any number of things relating to that.

Well, I've got some troubling news. This is the WRONG question to ask. You see, the gospel is very outward focussed, with a view that looks outside of self and looks to Christ, and to others. This question, however, is inward focussed. It asks about MY life, MY goal, MY purpose. This is not central to the Gospel. Cental to the gospel is a focus beyond ourselves.

So the question we should ask is this: "what is God's will?" and then follow up with "how does my life fit in that?" It makes a world of difference! It means that our focus is on God and what He is doing, not what "I" can do for God. Because, apart from Him, we can't do anything. It changes decisions we make from "is this God's will for my life" to "will this help me fulfill God's will?" A very LARGE change.

It helps change every little decision we make from life-changing, earth-shattering, life-and-death to not as big of a deal. Not downplaying decisions here, they can be a big deal, but if you are concerned about getting God's 1 will correct and if you miss it, you're screwed, it would be pure paranoia trying to make that decision.

The truth is that God DOES have good plans for our lives, however, sometimes it's not as specific as we may think. If there is only one thing you can do and if you miss it, you're out of God's will, there's not much of a decision to make, is there? It seems like this line of thinking will lead us down the path to predestination more than free-will. And for some people, that's fine, but i'm still under the distinct impression that we have free-will and can make our decisions. And in that, it's like God allows us to choose among a number of good potentials.

I'm not talking black and white moral issues here as much as simply decisions we make daily. Whether or not I should cheat on a test leaves the obvious answer of no, i should not. But the question of where i should go to college? or take my next job? or? that's a bit more ambiguous. Seems easier if the Bible simply said "go to Penn State" or "take the higher paying job", but it doesn't. and with good reason- God allows us to choose.

The problem with understanding God's will as 1 decision you MUST make and everything else is wrong? well, very simple. what happens when you choose wrong? Do you have to go back and try all over again? or can you simply go from there? This leads to the divorces among Christians- people who think they made a mistake in discerning God's will and so they go back and try again. that's even LESS true to God's will. *Buzz*- Wrong. try again.

You see, discerning God's will is a lot easier than trying to figure out what it is for your life. God's will is clearly spelled out in the Bible. In short, His will is: that we would be transformed to be like Jesus, that we avail ourselves in the process of making disciples, and that all shall come to repentence. That's not as hard to figure out. And finding out how you can help, wher eyou fit, and such- that's a bit easier.

God's will for YOU is that you will be involed in pursuing His will in general.

today i'm feeling...

Today I am feeling... blue. Really blue. I love how colors can be used to describe how we're feeling. And even though i would LOVE to be able to find some other fun thing to say about feeling blue that doesnt' result in me potraying myself as feeling pretty depressed, I'm just not up to it today.

Why? well- just look at my recent posts. No, not the ones about baseball or the Red Sox- although losing 3 of 4 to the yankees does stink pretty bad... But I'm talking about what's going on in my life... the whole saying goodbye thing... It's pretty sad. And I haven't really thought about it too much, but... Most of my life, I've been saying goodbye. I've had a bunch of years in the middle that were relatively free of that, but when i became a teenager, began going to summer camp- it was goodbye at the end of the week to so many people... high school meant saying goodbye to friends who were graduating, until I myself was graduating and saying goodbye to seemingly everyone else...

College meant the same goodbye's, leading up to my own goodbye's. Getting a new job meant some new hellos, but i've been here for almost 16 months and i'm saying goodbye again... and just like the move here, it's most likely resulting in saying hello to something totally new...

I miss people. I miss friends in Maine whom i rarely ever see now, but somehow have managed to keep contact with. I miss them probably the most of all right now. I miss Luke, Josh, Josh, Seth, David, and more... it's like... I don't know.

and soon I will be missing people here, too- because church=life for me. For other people, it's just a matter of sunday, or a matter of something extra, but for me, this is ALL that i have around here. I'm helped by having Rachel's family, but beyond that, I've got nothing. NOTHING! It's been my life here now, so it's not like I've got something else around here like friends outside of church, or much of anything else...

Not only that, but I feel like an outsider to some of those groups of friends now. It feels like "ok, so you have higher aspirations than being in northern maine your whole life? well then you're out of the club..." I've never actually felt some people say that to me, but... I've always felt that there was gong to be more to my life- that there was more than the rural farming community in which i grew up. I can't say that i've felt like i'm better than that, but I've always felt destined for MORE than that... and i say that with no "pride" in my voice- i simply am stating that which i've felt, but for some reason, i get the feeling that because i'm pursuing more than that, i'm an outsider now...

Beyond missing people (which mystifies me- why am I missing them today of all days?), I also and blue because of struggling with feelings of inadequacy. I mean, I'm losing my job, and although it's got nothing to do with how well I'm doing, I still feel this- i've put my heart and soul into my work. I worked hard and tried to build things- and I'm seeing results! I'm seeing fruits of my labor, relationships and such. And here I am, feeling the BEST that I've ever felt about doing my job and I'm going to be cut loose.

That's disturbing. That bothers me. It really does a number on my psyche. Because now I've got this continual nagging in my mind that I can "outperform" even my own expectations, and yet... How would that feel? well, it doesn't feel good...

Today's gonna be a rough day, i can feel it...

just in case i live in a hole

I'm preparing to watch a baseball game this afternoon- watch the Sox play the (sp)ankees. It should be a good game. i'm looking forward to it. But just in case i'm an idiot- just in case i'm stupid, or just in case i've lived in a hole the past few years...

They decided to remind me of the "recent" history between the red sox and the yankees. i mean, i understand that there are people who still don't know about all this, but they are few and far between. and beyond that, the people who don't know would have changed the channel by then.

So those of us who are sports fans, will watch the game and are interested. We already know. It's history, some of it hurtful (still can't stand Aaron "bleeping" Boone), some of it historICAL (gotta love big Papi and Schill) and some of it just dang funny (like watching the fag {g}A{y}-Rod slapping at the ball like a fairy).

Point being this- does fox think I don't live on earth? I mean, cuz we all do, and those of us watching at this point now KNOW what happened- and either love or hate some or all of it! It seems like these guys are the real "idiots", not Johnny Damon (aka Jebus).

saying goodbye (part 2)

While i've been thinking about the current transition in my life, i begin to think on other stuff... transitions of other things. What other times in life are we asked to say goodbye to something, and how do we respond. I'm going to go over a few things that i've said goodbye to and reflect on them... Some of them are permanent, some of them are not, but most of them are simply things that i cannot do at this point in my life, but God may well allow for that opportunity later. Here they are:

• The place I grew up:

Although i certainly would not say that i'm never going to Maine again, I can safely say that i've said goodbye to that place for now. It is not a place that Rachel and I are going to be living. Unfortunately, there are not too many opportunities in my line of work there, and most of the churches there are not somewhere that i feel i could be at this stage of the game. Although it has been a few years since i've really lived there, it is time to say goodbye. moving out of the state for college sealed that doom... The hardest part of any goodbye transition, however, remains this-

• Friendships:

there are some timeless friendships in life. the friend whom you've known seemingly forever, and there is nothing that will ever keep you from being friends. That is not the norm, however. There are not many peopel that are going to be in your life, all your life. Sure, the emergence of quick communication like e-mail and IM have allowed us to keep better contact with those whom we'd probably not keep contact with otherwise, but eventually, e-mailing back and forth and IMing die.

And you're left with those few people whom you'll be closely connected to forever. And that's fine... For me, it's time to say goodbye to some of those friendships. Some have been gone for a while, and some i thought would be around forever, but- aparently not. Some are girls who've gotten married, and rather than make their husbands jealous, (or my wife), or make their lives confusing (or mine)- time to say goodbye. Some are friends whom i've been friends with for years, thought we'd be friends forever- thought we'd be in each other's weddings, best men, etc... Well, anyway- there are some more to say goodbye to... I've said goodbye to some friendships over the years- deleting IM names and e-mail addresses, forgetting about people and then only to be reminded of them later... But point being, i guess it's time to say goodbye to some of those, now, too- and some of those are right along with my first goodbye.

• My Band

Although I've not been officially kicked out of Seth's Mom, and I will always be one of the original members, me not getting to maine very often will keep my involvement to a minimum. I'm sure that they're playing at Nomacca this summer- and i'm sure they sound better than they've sounded before... It's funny for me, too, because i've always had that desire to be in a band. I've had the musical talent, and i felt gyped by some of my closer friends in high school when the formed a band and left me out. And i was so mad at them for a while, but, now, being in a band is something that matters very little to me... it's funny, tho, because it's only the band- the guys in the band, i'm not planning on saying goodbye to for a while...

• My childhood experiences

There are a number of places that were influential to me in my younger years, in my teenager years in particular. Namely camps. Nomacca and Riverside. I have not been to either of them for years, and the last time i was there, I felt disconnected in some ways because i did not know as many of the kids... I had been away at college, so i didn't know as many of them, but... I'm not saying i'll never be there again, but these camps are local camps, and so i'll leave those jobs to more consistent people than myself- because many of the same kids come year after year, and many of the counselors and other jobs are filled with people who at least somewhat know the kids...

This is one of the harder things to say goodbye to for me because of how big a place these camps have in my heart. The friendships built there, the fun times, the- everything, from being on staff to being a camper to doing retreats and making fun of canadians (and being friends with a few- and my friend James fell in love with one)... And i love about camp that you can still be young... maybe camp will be in my future again sometime, but for now... guess it's goodbye, huh?

Well, i'm not sure if i'm through or not, but those are a few things i've reflected on having said goodbye to... And now i want to add this- i know a lot of people who do not willingly say goodbye. They want to hang on to something for as long as they can, and kick and scream when it's time to let go. Sometimes it's easy to see when to say goodbye, and sometimes it's not- and that's more often when people don't let go- when they can't see it's time to say goodbye...

at the risk of using something from pop-culture (hehe), i like this take on it. this quote won't be accurate, but think of death and saying goodbye in the same terms... "be careful of attachments. Fear of death for someone close to you will lead you down the wrong path. Death is a part of life. Celebrate with those who pass on (or those you say goodbye to). Grieve them not. Mourn them not."- Yoda. the wisest of the wise. just watch what happens when you try to hang on too long- you end up like anakin, a whiny, sniveling little brat who betrays everyone that is current and good in his life to hang on to something that he must let go of... don't go down the road to the dark side... don't do the darth vader thing...

saying goodbye

This, in some ways, is a follow up to one of my first blogs. This is not the end for me, however, it is time to say goodbye.

Slightly under a week ago, the leadership team of my church met and made the hard decision that due to losing a significant portion of our weekly income (due to families leaving the church), I will have a job here only through the end of this month. My last day is August 1, for insurance purposes, and then i'm cut loose.

I guess i feel the need to reflect a few things. First, it's not my choice, so it's certainly a lot tougher than it would be had i been making the decision. I also think back to about 5 months ago, when i was fired, then given my last chance- for not living up to the expectations i had. I also, at that point, was accused of not having many people on my side.

I realize now that it would have been easier to leave then. Because, even though I know i had people on my side then, i have so many more now. It will be difficult because i know of one familiy that will likely leave the church because of this- simply because the sons have become close to me and the mom makes the decision of where to go to church based on her sons connection to people and the youth pastor there. Now that I have spent the past 5 months solidifying some of these relationships that were started before my first canning, well...

It's funny- it is talked about how lancaster county is very hard to break into- because of the mentality that those who were not born here are not from around here... well, people around here are making me feel more now than ever like i had broken in... some of them, anyway- i still feel as though some have never and will never accept me... But it's a tough spot to be in, regardless... and I will cherish this place and these people.

Some people will have a problem with this- as many have ALREADY expressed to me. And the reason for this is purely financial, but... what if a good friend of mine, whom the church has never seen a penny from, expressed that she thinks that this is wrong. what do i do then? I feel as though i shoudl point out to her that if the church was taking in more money, then it would be able to pay the bills, and sign paychecks as well, instead of just paying bills... I would love to point out to her that if she gave, it may be avoided... but her tithe would not pay my salary, and she's only among the many who do not give...

I also find myself feeling like i'm not a person as a pastor- i'm a means to an end. expendible. the leadership decides that in the best interest of the church, they must cut my salary... well, aren't i part of the church? and what about all the people in the church who have expressed that they think this wrong, or they're mad about it- i mean, i know financially the church will be better off, but what about all the people who are extremely bothered by it? there must be more to the well being of the church than just the money, right?

it makes me feel like a piece of meat- because i'm not a person in this case- i'm part of the church, but my well-being is not assured or looked after in this decision. being expendible for the sake of the "greater good" makes you feel... so... pointless...

moreover, leaving all these relationships behind- that's going to be extremely tough. The hardest part.

But i'm ready to leave- for a couple reasons. First is that i was expecting this, even though maybe not this soon. I had been searching already, and even though i think that only 1 month of losing money because of lack of giving is not enough time to guage whether or not they'll turn it around, i'm ready to go and willing to submit to the leadership.

Secondly, i'm ready to go because if i'm looking to be at a new youth pastor job, then i'm going to want to look now- it's a better time to look in the summer- lots of churches are looking for a youth pastor to start before the school year begins...

Thirdly- i'm ready to leave lancaster county- not that it hasn't been nice here, and i don't have friends or anything- but, it's a hard county to break into... i have kinda broken in, but there are LOTS of people who still haven't and won't accept me... and so, if rachel and i move on and out of here, at this point we're saying goodbye to life around here...

Finally- I'm ready to leave because, even though i know i have supportive people on the leadership team, the bottom line is this- my job has been on the line twice with the leadership now- and they have made the decision to can me- yup, you guessed it, twice! No matter how much anyone fought for me, the decision came, down, unanimously, to firing me- both times. So, even if the money magically appeared and i were allowed to stay, i'm not going to stick around again and wait for them to decide to can me again... just not happenin'.

i'd love to stick around for the people i love here, and the people who love me- and maybe i'd stick around through the end of my lease so i don't have to pay it out without an income, or something, but... it's hard to stay a place where you know, no matter how much support you have, the leadership team will eventually be willing to can you... it's just... not a good feeling.

i don't know if the leadership considered anything besides the financial in this decision, but it's hard to believe that they did because there are so many psychological and beyond impacts of rachel and i leave that could hurt the church more than not making ends meet... but, what's done is done, que sera sera...

the value of the frenzy

"Lord search my heart, create in me something clean
Dandelions- you see flowers in these weeds" (Dandelions)

I've had the words of this song running through my head for the past number of days. This used to be my favorite song when the album came out my senior year of high school- and it had slipped to the back of my mind. Then it came back to me as i began listening to music on my computer again for the first time in a while (i've got my entire library of cds on my pc). it came back to me, and then i used the album for something the other night and got listening to it through again.

I love it! and i remember how much i love the band! And i'm holding off saying the band name for my wife. Not because she won't like it, but i wonder if she'll be surprised to discover this band wrote a song with lyrics as profoud (I consider them to be that) as these are. It's Five Iron Frenzy. Hence, the value of the frenzy.

Now, I understand not everyone likes the music, but i must say that I honestly believe this is one of the greatest bands to dawn the Christian charts. For two main reasons- the first is that they are by no means the "same" as every other band. they were quite different, in all regards. The second is that they were not under the assumption that every song needed to say Jesus in it. And not every song with spiritual meaning had to say it directly. They valued the tongue in cheek (My Evil Plan to Save the World), and the flat out comedy (see the "Pants Opera").

I remember in the youth group i used to work with in college, there were a few brothers whose father didn't like the band. He didn't like any Christian band that didn't blatantly say Jesus. So he was very wary to let them buy the music, or listen to too much of it. But, he would have loved it if they got into some group like MercyMe, or... anyway- not remembering if i've said tis before, I'm going to bash most of Christian music. Although there is some decent quality, and some stuff that is just amazing in the lyrics department, there is generally something I dislike about most Christian music.

it is predictable, and it offers little for the brain. You can always, ALWAYS expect the word "love" to rhyme with "above", and for some bands, you can expect every album to sound like a duplicate of their previous one. the style is the same, and there is very little that offers new ideas, or new anything.

Five Iron Frenzy was not that. I was on this kick where I put all of their albums in a playlist and cycled through them randomly, and I could hear the differnces in songs from each album, and... They were just a great band, with great creativity, and they knew how to have fun. I'm convinced that there are still Christians who think that having fun is a sin. But I'm pretty sure it's not, cuz i'm pretty sure God had fun creating the universe.

I loved seeing these guys in concert, and I loved to listen to their albums. "They sang, they danced, they made me laugh. I really wanted to be like them" (modified quote from Superpowers)

i don't know if i had much more to say, but... Even though they've been gone for a while from the Christian music scene, i still miss them. you guys rock... and they weren't above posing in pictures with and a sign saying they like my band.

going to hell

So a guy came up to me while i was at the gas station the other day- i'd stopped in to get some milk and a candy bar. This guy walked up to me as i was walking back to my car and told me this- "You are going to hell! You need Jesus to save you or else you're going to burn in hell forever." Or something like that- i'm not sure i've got the exact quote.

For some reason, I was really bothered by this. I mean, this was disturbing news that I was going to hell- especially since I am a Christian and a pastorat a Christian church. That certainly is disturbing...

Well, I say this because i want to get a discussion going. Discuss one or all of the following (i'm hoping more people than my wife and luke read this now).

• the effectiveness of street evangelism
• the effectiveness of condemning someone to hell
• the effectiveness of preaching to an audience you do not know/understand
• the possibility that there is more to Christianity than simply "fire insurance"

Go!

letter to the "stayer"

To those in the small church:

A truly heartfelt thank you! It is people like yourselves who have advanced the Church in years past, and you are my greatest hope for the future of the Church. There are a great many situations that you are in and have come from, but you all deserve much gratitude.

To those who are in a(n) (older) church that is struggling, and yet continue to be there in an attempt to turn things around, and to see things different. I do not envy your position because there are a great number of churches struggling for relevancy in our society and it is a very tough decision to make on where to go, what advances to make, and how true to stay to prior examples. It is amazingly tough, and we are grateful to you!

To those of you who are in a church plant- a smaller, younger church dedicated to being vibrant and cutting edge- thank you. You are in a church with huge potential- often times untapped. Your vigilance and support have made the church grow to where it is, and will continue to grow with more people such as yourselves! Your love and caring have created families for many unchurched people, or for many post-churched adults who grew up in church and have since left. Your loving and giving spirits have made it possible to make a lasting impact and difference in peoples lives. Thanks- it is truly appreciated!

Instead of going to other churches that may have more to offer you, or may have more to keep you interested, you have given up your desire to be served and serve instead. It has always been God’s intention that believers move from being ministered to into being the ministers! You are wonderful examples of that!

To those of you who left a larger church in search of a true community, thank you! I understand that church changing is not a good thing, however, tapping into God’s heartbeat to connect directly and personally with people rather than being a face in a myriad of faces, a number instead of a person, is a great challenge, and one that many should take up. It is not easy to leave behind what you once knew, but the change could be the most significant thing in your life as a smaller church often times encourages greater growth, and true growth in many areas that you will not in a larger church.

Those of you who stayed, those of you who are in the small church- thanks! It is true to the biblical example what you’ve done! God works in many ways, but one of the ways the early church was used was to have many smaller house churches rather than one big church for a big meeting and lots of pastors! Thank you for recognizing that God’s work isn’t always measured in quantity, but is often measured in the quality of the change in people! Your faithfulness to Christ, and to your shepherds is exemplary, and I applaud those of you who have helped to grow these ministries!

You have not traded the hard for the convenient, you have not traded family for ease, and you have not traded fellowship for security! It is an amazing thing to find people who are faithful to God’s heart, and I say thanks! It is a blessing to serve in a small church, and it’s a blessing to be grouped in with people such as yourselves who have been so wonderful.

Thanks cannot say enough of the true appreciation I, as a pastor, feel for those of you who are committed! You have not counted yourselves as the most important, but often have laid down your lives, laid down your desires and offered of yourselves to see the kingdom of God furthered! There is no higher calling than to be a minister of reconciliation between God and men! There is no greater task than to be faithful to God’s calling in your lives to make a difference, and an impact on others!

Blessings on you!

Letter to the leaver

Dear leavers,

Thank you very much! I would like to thank each of you for continuing to sustain a terrible epidemic that is sweeping across our country. I like to call it church consumerism. It is a terrible thing that seems all to common in our society and culture, and it is a tragedy that so many are a part of it.

You see, the mega-church is something that many Americans have flocked to. This is terribly unfortunate because it has led to the decline of the smaller church. The smaller church, although some may be old and dying, there are many small churches that are young and attempting to realize a new phase of the Church. The biblical view for Church is NOT a huge, gigantic church that has everything for everyone, rather it is smaller churches with specialized areas, meeting different needs of different people.

By leaving a smaller church and going to a larger one, you are continuing a problematic trend. By leaving a church and going to another continues the same trend. Church consumerism is a problem because it asks this- “what can I get from church?” The real question that God is desiring for His people to ask is “what can I offer a church?” But because we are looking for our needs to be met, we will continue to go from church to church until they are.

And while we are thanking you for continuing this trend, I will also thank you on behalf of your children. Younger children can grow easily attached to people. When they are continually moved from place to place with new children’s workers to connect to, they are going to have more trouble trusting that someone will be there for them. They will continue to lose trust until they have become completely untrusting of people because there has been no one constant in their lives outside of family.

And while I’m thanking you for your children, let me thank you for your teenager as well. Your teenager doesn’t connect well with do, does he? You don’t understand him, you can communicate the way you want to- it’s tough for you. Am I right? Don’t be mad about this- it’s normal for your teenager to become more interested in friends and less interested in family at that stage of life. But when you jump from church to church, their circle of Christian friends is constantly changing, as well as the influence of youth pastors on them. If you have stayed for close to year before moving on, your teenager has connected just barely with youth pastors/leaders and they will be forced to connect with new ones- except they won’t because they were almost trusting last time and then yanked away from that.

And while I’m thinking you on behalf of your teenager, let me thank you on behalf of the smaller churches. Because you cannot stay here long, we are unable to provide consistently in all the ministries we want to offer. We are unable to offer fair compensation to workers, we hire people to do many jobs (which take more than a normal work week). We are unable to provide the best of anything because we are consistently needing people to help more than they should.

And while on that strand, let me thank you on behalf of our ministries. We are unable to find enough people to teach and other things in our ministries- because you are not here and committed enough, and therefore, are contributing to the burnout of our people. They are important to us, and we do not want to overwork them, but we do not have anyone else to help.

The youth ministry thanks you- because we are small, your teenager and his/her friends are important. When you leave with your teenager, his/her friends leave as well, and we are left hobbling, crippled and with less desire for involvement.

Let me thank you on behalf of myself and my wife, as well. As a pastor at a small church, I am asked to do many jobs. And these jobs make for long work weeks for me. I have months where I only have 1 day off in the whole month. I do more than I should, and yet I cannot do less because our church stays small. You have kept us small by leaving, and continued to ask me to work for a lower wage than the 4 jobs that I do. Although I am paid well for a church, if I were to go anywhere else and take 4 jobs as big as mine are, I would be ludicrous to accept my current salary. Not only that, but my time is precious and I barely get enough for my family and for my wife- she’s so glad that you’ve forced me to do so much.

And while we’re at that, let me thank you for the mega-church. You see, I’m sure that the children’s and youth pastors there don’t care about your children as much as our ministry heads do- and as personally. Because they have so many more children and kids to care for. But because you have chosen to go there, they are thankful. You have increased their attendance, and their feeling of self-worth. As people continue to go to mega-churches, they will continue to feel as though they are doing things correctly. After all, even though we are not all about numbers, if we have high numbers, we can’t be doing it wrong, can we? They will never see that the true heart of God is for close, intimate connection on smaller levels and not huge corporate meetings where we feel good, or agree with the sermon, but are not moved to change.

Thank you- you have contributed to one of the worst epidemics the church has ever seen. If it were not for you, this would not be possible. So to all of you who are church shoppers, church hoppers and trading churches, thanks! You are a product of your country, and examples of what make America so “great”.

how to kill enthusiasm

how do you kill enthusiasm? it's actually quite simple. let me use a story to illustrate... mind you, i'm still processing this, so bear in mind...

You see, i came home from our youth ministry last night excited. We just had our new class of youth come up for the first time last night- it was good- 3 of our 4 new students were there. We had a fun time, and we were finishing up a lesson series about how to read the Bible- different types of books in the Bible, etc. And as we finsihed with Revelation, I told our students to bring in their questions for me for last night.

there were a few questions, which i tried my best to handle- and eventually that died down. I already know what our next series will be for the youth, so I offered it to them to throw out some questions that they would like to talk about in youth over this summer, maybe the fall- when it comes up kinda thing. And I got some great questions! Great- I mean, one student asked me this "what is God's plan for saving the world?" !?!?! I was stunned, and yet i'm so excited because our youth ministy is moving past the stage of a handful of students and focussed on the fun every week- we're moving into something that i think can be great!

And so as we talk about the basics of our faith over the next few months, i'm totally stoked to talk about God's plan to save the world next week... Because that means i get to tell them that the plan is... THEM! God's instrument is the church! That's exciting stuff for me...

and then i walk into the church this morning and discover that we may be losing not only a potential 5 of our youth, but an amazingly fun and great family from the church- which may or may not include a bunch more families connected to them...

i don't even know what to do right now.... maybe i'll do something mindless like cleaning the church...

ouch...

deciding game 7

Can i rant for a moment? I have read some sports commentaries, and watched enough sports playoffs to have heard a phrase i can't stand. It's the obligatory "deciding game 7" or "7th and deciding game". as though anyone who has half a brain doesn't realize that the outcome of the 7th game, in a 7-game series, is going to decide the series... I mean, do we even think about it?

I'm sure someone used it years ago, and everyone decided it sounded good- so they started using it. And now, even the most intelligent of people don't even think about what it means and how much of a redundant statement that is. of course the 7th game is going to decide the series- it's a 7-game series! there is no 8th or 9th game- the last game always decides, and when there are 7 games, there are no more games to decide the outcome...

duh...

Take a moment...

I'd like to take a moment to reflect on a few things from this week. I have heard that this is one of the best weeks for pop-culture- like, ever. A new American Idol was crowned- and thankfully, rockers are still not "accepted" by society and are certainly not the kings of the "pop" wars... (no, the pop war is not the one between Candians and others who call carbonated beverages "pop" and those of us who are right and call it soda...). Jay Leno testified in defense of Michael Jackson, and apparently comedy was on trial, as well, because Leno did the best he could to defend the need for comedy (Although i can scarcely believe that Jay Leno would provide ANY good reason for keeping comedy) and... what else? I don't care...

The real reason for the blog is Jay Leno. I will admit this- i do NOT find him amusing. let alone funny... This guy goes into a courtroom and... no, this is not the beginning of a joke. Jay Leno is cracking his one liners in front of the judge and jury- and if I were the prosecution, I would want a mistrial just because of that! I mean, it's ridiculous...

This only goes to prove a point of mine i've been trying to make for years. Jay Leno is not funny and David Letterman is way more funny! Aside from being better dressed, and those funky glasses- and making fun of Paul, and an American classic- the top 10- there is one major difference between the two that makes all the difference between who is funny and who just makes you chuckle, or less...

Personality! Jay Leno has none, and therefore uses his comedy to try and block that fact. seen in the courtroom, we can see that he had no personality to make the jury want to believe him and be a positive for the defense, so he makes them laugh instead and gets them to like him that way. David Letterman, however, has a personality. And his humor is born out of that, not due to the lack of it. Letterman could make people like him if he was not funny. You see that he has personality simply because of this- when Johnny Carson died, David Letterman, who was basically "snubbed" by not getting Carson's job was remorseful and you could see the pain in him from having lost a true friend and mentor. Jay Leno, who was not half as funny to fill Carson's shoes, but tried to do so anyway, you could see that there was nothing inside of him.

I'm not sure where else to go from here... just thought i'd go ahead and state what has been in my head.